Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I love kids .... but I couldn't eat a whole one!

There are times, y'know, when being a Mutha can be something of a challenge. I bet you're so glad I told you that as I'm sure you didn't already know ;)

When they are enigmatic screaming babies well-meaning old biddies will tell you 'That's the best age. At least you know where they are.'
When they are tantrumming toddlers said biddies will say 'It gets worse when they are teenagers'.
When they are learning to assert themselves in the world as primary school-age darlings the old biddies will smile benignly and say 'Oh, you wait until they want to be out all night with their friends'.
Yup, I do apparently have it easy right now with a 6 year old girl and an 8 year old boy.

My two darling angels (wee touch of irony) take it in turns to crank it up. This week it seems to be Minx. Maybe it's just that, as a girlie, she's more finely tuned to the Mummeistergeneral's hormone levels - growl!!

We had some Minx 'tude this morning - big time! We were taking her friend to school. He had only been here two minutes and she was treating me like something she'd stepped in.
Me - bull.
Minx - red light.
Result - ifyoudon'tstoptreatingmelikethatwhenfriendsareroundyoungladyIwon'tletyouhave

...or words to that effect!

Is that what they call negative parenting? Just asking!

Her attitude is, I have to say, quite fab. Her brother, when admonished (understatement?) bursts into floods of tears (bless!). She does exactly what I'd have done at any her age and shrugs her shoulders whilst dishing out filthy looks.

If she's like this at 6 does that mean she'll be like this at 14?

I may do what my poor mother did one day and run away from home.

Did I say this was a craft blog? You sure?

Oh, in that case then here's a bit of crafty doings.

I have some cushions to make in 'sweet pea colours'. In this instance the camera really does lie.
One is delicate dusky and pastel pinks and the other is shades of lilacs and pastel pinks.

Still to do embroidery on the faces and nooooooo it's not a hippo - it is going to be a monkey - oh,yes it is - no, it is - really. Oh whatever, if you want it to be a hippo it can be a hippo but I know it is a pink monkey. Just like those very rare pink monkeys only found here. They also have rare pink cats and yes, it is a cat and not a fox/linx.

I thought I'd save the most exciting news 'til (almost) last - the pink ripple is finished - done - finito!!! Well, apart from sewing in about 200 ends that I didn't manage to incorporate into the crochet.
To celebrate I may have a glass of special offer cheapo vino plonko courtesy of Mr Co-op - no surprises there then. I may even go mad and have a Pringle or twenty (how fab that they have a website!!!). You just cannot beat a red wine and sour cream and chive early morning midweek aftertaste.
I cannot begin to imagine what sort of an image you may have of me!!! Let's just say you're probably close ;)
So now onwards and upwards to the great psychedelic stripy Monster blanket experience. Hold onto your seats ladies (and gents) it's gonna be a rapid stripe build up - weeeeeeeeeee!!!
Yup, quite, quite, mad. Or maybe just feeling a tad better ;)
P.S. did I mention I forgot my keys when I went to get the kids from school this afternoon? Well, I did - the jangling in my bag was not my keys it was my Dad's - just what you want when you get home at 4.20pm and have to have da Minx fed, changed and out to Rainbows in just over an hour.
DH, for once, picked up his work phone - and had an excuse to ride his MC like a demon through the rush hour traffic. No wonder he looked exhilarated when he got back 15 minutes later!
Have I told you lately that I lurve him?


Lucy Locket-Pocket said...

Ok, this is it, you have finally flipped your little lid and gone completely mad! But where is the music to serenade us?

Locket xxxx

P.S. anyone could see that was a monkey - except that the photo next to your explanation was of the cat - well I was confused! (ok, just a little bit, don't want people to think I'm stupid or anything!!!!!!)

Monkee Maker said...

Ah yes .... I remember those halcyon days well. When you could tell your kids off and wouldn't be accused (by them) of nagging. Hang on to that power for as long as you can ;)

Loving those cushions .... especially the you-know-what one!

And I'm with Lucy on this .... surely you could have found that song on youtube to dedicate to your DH?

Leigh said...

Hilarious! Crafty with a sense of humor and a real life!

Caroline said...

I usually just "lurk" on your blog, but today I had to comment. You're so funny. Especially considering that I think I'm going to turn into one of those "old biddies," telling younger mothers how easy the early years are! They seemed like a challenge when I was going through them, but my teenage daughter has put us through the ringer in the last year. I've heard they do that so that you can stand it when it's time for them to leave for college.

French Knots said...

My 8 year old daughter has started rolling her eyes at me and huffing - I thought I'd have a bit longer before the teenage stuff started! Gives me an excuse to drink more wime tho!

Bethany Hissong said...

1.Congratulations on the Ripple!!!!

2.Parenting is the only exercise I do regularly...it makes me stronger! (Repeat that in your head on those bad days!!!)

3. I love you because you love Pringles!!! They are made in my hometown: Cincinnati, Ohio. And it takes a special person to love a chip that looks like it was pressed into duck lips!!

dottycookie said...

Fab cushions, well done on the blanket - and your house sounds just like mine. I'd like just ONE morning to get through the getting ready for school rush without resorting to threats. I don't think it's going to happen soon.

And I wonder if the bursting into tears vs sideways looks is a first vs second child thing? My two are exactly the same way!

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