At approximately 11.30 this morning in the midst of an ordinary 'Rosy doll meets giveaway friend Martin Lafelt Monkee' photoshoot there was chaos as a lone Monkeenapper broke into the
Above: Rosy doll (left) meeting Martin Lafelt Monkee prior to Monkeenap.
The bold Monkeenapper, described by an eye witness (who was later breathalysed by police), as 'of medium height with wild staring eyes and unusually long upper limbs - oh, and made of two-tone pink knit with ironically stitched seams' stole into the studio bold as brass and whisked Mr Martin Lafelt Monkee from the very lap of Miss Rosy Doll right in front of our photographer.
The first dramatic Monkeenap photo as the napper spots the victim.
Caught on camera - the moment Martin Lafelt Monkee is taken.
Gotcha - the Monkeenapper is snapped red-handed.
Fast getaway. The henious villain races away from the scene of the crime her victim's cries for help heard by our reporter.
A room by room search led to this amazing discovery. In an unprecedented move away from his normal peace keeping duties the Monkeenapper and victim were found with none other than Cedric Splatt, one-time Superhero now, apparently, drawn in to the grim underworld of primate snatching for the Blog trade.
Shocked of Southampton said 'I was devastated! We've always depended on CS and now this. I think I need a gin to get over the shock'.
Events took an even more dramatic turn when the goggle-eyed perpetrator and disgraced hero Cedric Splatt apparently lost interest in their captive in favour of a game of Wii Tennis.
Seizing his moment the courageous Martin Lafelt Monkee made good his escape and is now in hiding.
When questioned at the scene the Monkeenapper, one 'Ruby Monkee' formerly of Bristol and Cedric Splatt former sidekick of the ridiculously talented Mrs Gina Ferrari confessed it was a 'childish game that went tragically wrong'. Mr Splatt said 'We never meant to hurt or scare anyone. Martin looked like he was game for a laugh and we were both a bit crazy after sharing a bag of M&M's at 11.22am'.
Ms Monkee and Mr Splatt are now recovering from a stern sitting on by the Moog. Mr Martin Lafelt Monkee is resting prior to being stuffed into a box and shipped to an as yet undisclosed location.
Disclaimer: I haven't actually gone mad. I thought you'd like a bit of fun. I've been feeling a bit bleurgh and needed to cheer myself up. The effects of the tablets have worn off. I need another gin.
You don't come here for highbrow intellectual stuff, right?