Saturday, January 30, 2010

Hibernacular

This has been the strangest January for me. I'm not a person who finds winter darkness and cold depressing. Once Christmas is gone, as far I'm concerned spring is on the way.

This year, it's been quite different. The snow at the start of the month was lovely, for a while, but it disrupted my start of term at work hugely - all of the schools I work with were shut and when they reopened were so busy catching up they didn't want some loon phoning them to blather on about recycling!

We seem to have battled with every 'bug' that's going around. I don't think we've had a week since November, when at least one of us hadn't got the lurgy of some sort.



Again, although it's grotty, this wouldn't normally bother me.

Coughs, colds and stomach bugs are part and parcel of this time of year.



This January, it all became a bit overwhelming. I haven't been my usual positive, upbeat and cheerful self.

That's because I was churned up inside and totally and utterly self-absorbed. I wanted the whole world to leave me alone. I felt sick and scared. I was in tears a good deal. I wanted to hide myself away - hibernating in my own little world of wool.



The reason for this melodrama, was that I had found a lump. A tender, sore very definite lump, on my right breast. After leaving it for a day or two to go away, it didn't.

So, last week, I saw the Doctor. Apparently the soreness is a very good sign - pain is good! I was very thoroughly examined. Lots of questions were asked. The diagnosis is 'most probably a blocked duct' - isn't it great being a girl, with all our tubes, pipes and ducts?! (Maybe I need a plumber!).

For the next couple of weeks, I need to keep an eye on things. Then I'm back for another check-up. I was very reassured that if they think there's even the slightest risk of it being cancer, I'd be in for tests like a shot.

I was struggling with whether to post about this or not but I think this is such an important issue for us girlies to be open about, that I just had to. It really brought home to me just how vital it is to 'check' ourselves regularly.

As you can see, the past few weeks have involved knitting and those pictures above are merely scratching the surface of what I've knitted since Christmas. Whoever said 'knitting is the new yoga' really knew what they were talking about! It's helped me through the fog just lately.

So, with beautiful sunshine outside and family happily occupied for the day, I'll be doing lots and lots of yoga :o)

Love xxx

35 comments:

Calidore said...

Stay calm and breathe. If the Doc was really worried he/she would have put you in for tests immediately. At least you are seeking help - there seem to be so many who ignore the signs. If it is anything nasty getting treatment this early is a good thing. Know what you mean about the pipes and ducts etc - I had a block duct - twice and it's no fun. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Penny said...

Thats the kind of problem where a bit of self-absorbtion and hibernating is entirely understandable.

I hope it is just a blocked duct and that it does go away very quickly.

(((Hugs)))

ju-north said...

Had something similar - your mind can play tricks with you. Hope things get more positive for you soon.

dottycookie said...

Oh Lesley, that muse be so horrid - but as everyone says, if your doc was worried you'd already be in being tested. I had numerous blocked ducts when feeding my angels - lumps that were sore enough to make me feel like I'd been punched and bruised in the breast. Horrible things. Hot showers and gentle massage shifted them for me - but really gentle because the last thing you want is to make yourself more sore!

Keep knitting, keep breathing, and do yell if you need to. And thanks for reminding us all to keep an eye on oursleves.

Lucy Locket-Pocket said...

Well, as one part of the world that didn't leave you alone - sorry about that! ;o)- I was nearly as delighted as you when you saw the doctor! :o)

Great knitterage! That must be what January's for - knitting, that is - because you've got me completely hooked on it too!

Locket xxx

quinn said...

Good for you, seeing the Doc! The head-in-the-sand school of self-diagnosis always makes my hair stand on end. (Not pretty, but with my current winter-dry, static-y hair, maybe not so noticeable.)
I hope the lump soon disappears and the knitting continues...without the stress :)

Patti said...

Oh you poor thing. I know of nothing more frightening. I found a lump a few years ago and I have to say the service from the NHS was absolutely stunning! I remember taking DS (who was 3 1/2) for a macdonalds for his lunch the day before my full test as I thought it may be the last "normal" day he has with his mum. So so frightening. (mine was just a gunky lump of breast milk (I was feeding DD at the time) - so disgusting when they drained it)

Do whatever you can to get through. Love the knitty pics though - colours on the scarf are scrumptious.

Joanna said...

I remember finding a lump on the side of my breast by my armpit when I was in my 20's and going to the doctor, very worried. Thankfully it was just a blocked duct too, and he gave me some kind of medicine to take and it was gone in about a week. Hugs to you:)

Poppy Cottage said...

My little sister, left a lump for about a year, head in sand syndrome. Finally telling us that she had gone to the Dr's just before Christmas. Thank fully also a Blocked duct, but good for you getting it checked out. You must have been beside yourself. Hope you can get back to your cheerful self soon. Take care. Colette xx

French Knots said...

Oh Hun I wondered why it'd been so quiet recently. Hibernating totally understandable, keep knitting and calm. Hope the duct is soon functioning normally.xx

marit said...

So glad you've been to the doctor, and happy that you have something to keep you occupied while waiting ...great knitting! You've had your fair share of scares the last few years...
I'll keep my toes crossed (need the fingers for knitting...;-D)

Gina said...

Sending lots of love and hugs - finding a lump is probably every woman's worse nighmare but so glad you been to the doctor and it sounds as if everything is okay. Wishing you a brighter February.

Daisie said...

Just wanted to say everything everyone else has already said really. Thinking of you and sending love. Hope when the plumber arrives he's easy on the eye ;-)
xxx

JuliaB said...

Hi L! Apparently duct blockages are quite common! But you make sure you keep a sharp eye on it too and stay positive, that's the most important thing. Sending lots of tea, sympathy, support and hugs. xx

mrspao said...

I hope it all goes ok. It is so important for us to keep a check on these things.

Sew Create It - Jane said...

(((hugs))) Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time...I'm sure it doesn't help that this winter weather has been especially harsh. Good for you seeing the Doc and getting the ball rolling...regardless of what it is, you're at least getting something done about it. Hope it is just a blocked duct and that it resolves itself quickly.

jennyflower said...

Best wishes. Well done on being a grown up and getting it checked. xx

Amanda said...

Sending big love and hugs to you. You've done really well to get on top of the situation.Sometimes hibernating is just right. Much love. Amanda xxx

Julie said...

Oh Lesley, I want to give you a big hug (if that's not being too personal). Well done for going to the doc straightaway. You've had such a rough winter it's not surprising your body's having a complain. Get plenty of rest and be really kind to yourself and hopefully that blocked duct will soon clear up! Sounds like you need a little TLC from the Minx and Monster and himself.

Angela said...

Big hugs and lots of happy thoughts are been sent through cyber space right now. Take care of you and yours and try to do some thing that makes you smile every day.

Ali said...

Oh Lesley, no wonder you were a bit quiet. Thank you for being brave and speaking up and reminding all of the folks (like me) who are hopeless about checking for such things, to do so.

May your ducts respond well to the woolly therapy!

Lina said...

Oh Lesley, so glad you are alright - I was wondering where you had got to. Quite a nasty scare. I remember the joy of mastitis and blocked ducts in my breast feeding days...not pleasant at all.

wonderwoman said...

i know just how you feel - i had a lump, albeit tiny, but a definite lump a few years ago - everything seemed to just stop, and it was on my mind 24 hrs a day. But went straight to docs and had x rays and all was clear. Am sending big hugs and thinking of you.

xxxxx

Jodie said...

Oh Mrs Moogs, I'm so glad you went and got it seen to...and I hope it goes away really soon.

julie said...

I'm not suprised you felt like hiding away - it's a terrifying experience and it sounds like you've been really brave and kept a very clear, level head. Wishing you a much happier and relaxed February, take care xxx

Rachel said...

Sending you lots of hugs and good vibes. And well done for acting on it so quickly and also for blogging about it and highlighting this issue for all of us. Take extra special care of yourself, and I'll keep everything crossed for you.
Lovely knitting too, by the way
((hugs)) Rachel xx

Fenland Textile Studio said...

Hi. Sorry to hear your news. Something very similar happened to me five years ago. The hardest step is that first doctor visit. I know exactly what you mean about "pipes and ducts". Good job we are all strong, beautiful, creative women even though we may have dodgy plumbing sometimes. Hibinate and look after yourself.I love the knitted shawl as well. Angela

LiEr said...

Hello Lesley - good on you going to the doctor!What an insanely worrying period it must have been. So glad it's turned out to be one of those diagnoses that makes a person want to say, "that's all it was?" in spite of still being in pain (and still being all cloggy). Funny how so many of us have had similar things happen. I had plugged ducts twice - really nasty experience. Hang in there, thank you for sharing, and yes, Spring is on its way!

Marie said...

How strange that you should post this as I was in the exact same position a couple of weeks ago! (I didn't blog about it at the time because my family all read my blog and I didn't want to concern them (particularly with my Dad just being given his cancer diagnosis).

Fortunately mine turned out to be just a cyst (which they drained there and then at my clinic appointment). The people at the breast clinic were so lovely. Not anywhere near as scary as I thought it was going to be!

I think it's the waiting which is definitely the worst part though - not knowing is always worse.

{{{HUGS}}} to you and I'll keep everything crossed your results are as un-worrysome as expected.

P.S. This is a great site for support and info if you haven't been there already:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/

xMx

Thimbleanna said...

Well, I'm glad for you that THAT is over! I had one of those scares a few years ago -- it's terrifying and I'm glad it ended well for you. And your knitting is beautiful -- I especially love the pretty neck scarf!

Michaela said...

Thoughts as ever during difficult times. The knitting is fabulous.

Now this is the sort of yoga I can manage. I practise 'yoga' for much of the time. When I'm not eating chocolate biscuits that is. But that too is so therapeutic there must be something worthwhile in that aswell!

driftwood said...

oh what a stressful time, take care of yourself xox

Kitty said...

I think quite a few of us have found January 2010 difficult, for various reasons. I'm so sorry to read of your trauma, and I hope very much that it is just as the doctor thought - a blocked duct. All I can tell you is that I once had a lump that they didn't like the look of, and I was most definitely not told to go away and leave it for a couple of weeks.

Thinking of you. x

Leanne said...

It is always good to jog everyone's memory how important breast check are. Glad yours was only a plumbing issue. Let me reassure you from working experience if your Dr was worried.... you would be off for a fine needle biopsy quick smart.

monda-loves said...

I'm a bit behind on my blog reading, but, Yikes! that is scary. Are things ok now? (hugs)
I have a whole heap of lady things going on too, which mean regular trips to the hospital to be prodded and poked in the nether regions and it's just not nice is it.
I'm glad you've knitted your way through it - I especially like the grey scarf, that's just my cup of tea - is it your own pattern?

Monda
x