Wednesday, July 6, 2011

A rude awakening - read with caution...or a bucket

Maybe this will all be tooooo much information.

Maybe some things are best kept to oneself.

Or maybe I just need to blog it to offload. It's the virtual equivalent of brain bleach. It's my blog.

Maybe I should warn you not to read this first bit if you've just eaten dinner....or anything in the past twelve hours. If you are strong of stomach read on. If not, avert your eyes and scroll on down until you get to a photo of a manky old chair.

Merlie Moog was feeling a little bit squiffy yesterday but, nevertheless, did well at puppy training and enjoyed a run at the park and seemed very happy in himself. It didn't seem to be anything to worry about as he was drinking and eating and bouncing and playing. So, last night, we all went to bed as normal, until....

2.30a.m - Mrs Moog is awakened, thanks to her overly sensitive nose, by the most indescribably awful smell she has EVER smelled - and she's smelled some, believe you me.

2.30a.m and 1 second - Mr Moog is awakened by Mrs Moog announcing (rather hysterically, it should be noted) that a major sewer seemed to have burst all over the hall floor!

2.30a.m and 2 seconds - the now unexpectedly wide awake Mr & Mrs Moog realise that, in actual fact, Merlin Moog has burst all over the hall floor.

Suffice it to say, there was no chance of not stepping in it, as it was the consistency of thin chocolate milkshake and was EVERYWHERE (imagine floor, walls...)
with little by way of a dry route through, so a harsh decision was made. Shoes? None upstairs - they live downstairs, beyond the 'lake of euwww'. Barefeet? Yup (ugh).

I imagine by now you either have the picture or have your head down the toilet.

Then ensued a full forty minutes of mopping, gagging, scrubbing, heaving, more scrubbing, lots of rinsing, stomach churning, scrubbing of feet, more scrubbing of feet, thorough (and painful) hand scrubbing, and an ample bit of air-fresher-spraying all the while consoling a very sad and unhappy (and a shockingly suddenly skinny) little puppy, whose ears seemed to say something along the lines of:

OMG! WTF? WhatOnEarthJustHappened?Help!

Please be assured I DID NOT reach for my camera in the middle of the night - this was taken half an hour ago as those very ears are wondering where all the food has gone.

It transpired that £60 at the V.E.T. on anti-vomit drugs and anti-squitters drugs, plus £10 at the Co-op on best quality chicken breast should get this little (suddenly very skinny) puppy back to a more even eared state of being.

This evening he is much recovered but very confused. How do you tell a 19 week old starving (and suddenly very skinny) puppy that the only reason you're not feeding him more than a tiny spoonful of (best quality expensive) steamed chicken breast and rice, is because the lovely lady V.E.T. told your Mummy It.Is.The.Law.?

Hello! If you skipped the first bit I don't blame you. If you didn't skip the first bit, are you feeling okay now? (Don't say I didn't warn you!).



Much to the dismay of my dear M-I-L we have a motley collection of six old secondhand oak dining chairs. Most women ( I'm reliably told) would, after 16 years of slumming it with a load of tatty old furniture, have insisted on brand new sparkly super posh designer chairs by now.

Some people need to realise I will never be 'some women'.

I always had a plan for these chairs but never quite got round to it. They got new seat covers roughly every two to three years, once the old ones got too stained/torn/sticky.

A rather unexpected burst of homemakerly energy this weekend got me half way to achieving the dream. Much scrubbing, sanding, wiping, undercoating (twice) and overcoating (twice) has started to make a definite impression. They may still be old and mis-matched but half of the six are now of uniform brilliant white eggshell.

Only three more to go and then it's on to choosing some gorgeous new fabric for our bottoms to sit upon :o)

Next up - surprise gooseberries!

'Found' during a mooch around the garden on Monday.

Someone (probably me) has planted a gooseberry bush in the garden and then forgotten about it. I spotted a little green berry whilst playing 'please stop grabbing the ball and buggering off with it' fetch with Merlin and of course one berry led to another and then another. Just enough for an apple and gooseberry crumble. Yum.

I think that after the rather gruesome start to this post (DON'T go back and read it if you avoided it the first time!) I should end on a much prettier note.

Rainbow fruit kebabs - deemed 'just about the best pudding ever' even by Mr Moog (!!!) - courtesy of my new found interest in Pinterest.



trash said...

Oh. You really underplayed things in your text. Poor, poor puppers and poor, poor grown-up Moog feet!

dottycookie said...

Oh, poor Merlin puppy! Do you know what caused it? My parents still tell the story of how they nursed our then puppy with rice water - water that had rice cooked in it then the rice thrown away - and she then recovered and lived to the ripe old age of 15.

BTW I am in the ancient furniture camp with you. I think our sofa must be 40 years old - we've had it for 15 and it was ancient then. And I'm not talking "antique".

monda-loves said...

I read! Poor Merlin :o( I hope he gets back to himself again soon.
I'm crap (excuse the pun!) with things like this - I fear if it was me I would make the situation worse by being sick myself.

I love your chair makeover. I have 6 in the loft just waiting for a makeover. I'm torn between brilliant white - or doing each a different colour. I was thinking I might spray them instead of painting them though - whenever I get around to revamping them that is!

Poppy Cottage said...

Chairs looks fantastic.

No, I didn't skip the firat bit!!

What I want to know how is it when they have an upset tummy it ends up going EVERYWHERE??

So I take it you have now got a pair of shoes upstairs???


Thimbleanna said...

Yummmmm -- beautiful fruit kebabs!

Oh how I remember the chicken and rice days. And squidgy piles. So, you have my sympathy. I hope the little nipper is feeling better soon!

Ali said...

Kebabs are so awesome!! Puppy poo, less so. I hate it when you've had your hands in something naaaasty and you keep compulsively sniffing them to make sure the smell is gone and isn't lingering, in spite of scrubbing.

The things we do for our families!

rachelmp said...

auwwwww gross. I read it at work and I swear I could imagine smelling it all the way over here in Australia. I hope Merlin is feeling a bit better

dragonfly said...

Ah, puppy love!I have had a similar experience that I won't go into, suffice to say the walls were involved...

The chairs are looking good. I have an old piece of furniture that I'd like to paint for my bedroom (it's on the UFO list!)

Love the new cushions, btw!

Annie said...

Poor Merlin, hope he's feeling better now. Not such an unfamiliar situation here ... we have a lot of dogs, and they will eat the oddest and most unsavoury things. You've not lived until you've cleaned projectile vomited, half digested, long dead (and proportionately smelly) jellyfish bits off the walls !

Chairs are looking great :)

Sew Create It - Jane said...

Poor pup...and poor moogs family! I can't think of worse ways to be awoken. Hope everyone is back on the mend and that the memory and smell fade.

Love the fruit kebabs..they look delicious!

Locket Pocket said...

Poor Merlin and poor you! Not what you want to wake up in the middle of the night to :o(

But the rainbow kebabs look fabulous!!!

Locket xx

wonderwoman said...

we had that once, and that was enough, and it just went everyone and the smell was indescribable!!I had the windows open for days!!
Loving the kebabs!

Rachel said...

Oh poor Merlin! Although I have to admit that your description did make me giggle in an "oh my god that's so gross!" kind of way! Glad he's on the mend now though. Can't wait to see the rest of your chair transformation. We have a very cheap dining table & chairs that we bought 15 years ago and I keep saying that I'm going to paint and recover the chairs but have never gotten round to it!

Kitty said...

Awww, poor Merlin, and poor you and Mr Moog too. Dealing with anything which unexpectedly comes out of either end is never a pleasant way to spend any time. Is the floor ok?!

I'm liking the look of those chairs - they will, I'm sure, look fabtastic by the time you've finished with them. Can't wait to see the finished articles. :D x

Anonymous said...

Dogs, dio and bare feet are not a good combo. You have my sincere sympathies as one who has been there and unfortunately done that. Poor little Merlin - his tummy must have been really hurting. Give him a little hug from me. I hope he is back on his feet soon x

Kaz said...

Oh poor little Merlin, and poor you two having to clean that up. I have to confess that I did giggle to myself, not because of what you had to do, but because of the way you described it!!!
I hope he is feeling better now and you've had no further need of the air freshener. Have you left any wellies upstairs just in case?
Chairs are looking good! xx

Twiggy said...

Urgh !! poor Merlin Moog and poor you, for goodness sake don't let him near the gooseberries!
Your chairs look lovely, as do your rainbow kebabs.
twiggy x

Julie said...

Poor Merlin and poor you too! I do hope the squitters have gone for good and Merlin is soon back to his normal not-so-skinny self.

I like what you're doing with your chairs, so much better to reinvent old chairs than buy some of the modern stuff that's about.

marit said...

Oh dear, I feel awful, I'm sitting here laughing out loud over your description (you write very vividly;-D)- poor you and poor Merlin!
Great chairs! We bought new chairs 5 years ago, and they have started to break, so I'm seriously considering getting something else!

I'd love one of those fruitspears, yummi!

Cybèle said...

I'm sorry, you can delete this comment if you like, but I couldn't help but laugh all the way through that description. It must be the way you write it ;-) (I will say ewwwww....)
Hope puppy is feeling much better, and you and Mr Moog too.
Btw, the last Country Living issue had a lovely recipe for gooseberry tart in it - if you still have gooseberries. I made it last weekend - yum.

Lucky-1 said...

Goodness, puppies can be a worry at times...gentle HUGGLES to him and to his mummy and daddy.....

mrspao said...

Poor Merlin Moog. Hope he is feeling a lot better now. Our Tamyra was quite ill last year and it was pretty awful.

I also have some ancient furniture that keeps on going.

Charlie P said...

Thank goodness for the rainbow fruit kebabs!
Hope you and Merlin have both recovered from that traumatic night :-S

Gina said...

I read... and remembered a similar incident when Barley was younger. Except my nose didn't wake me so by the time we discovered what had happened he had managed to spread the damage absolutely everywhere (including all over himself). I described it as wall to wall s**t! Pleased to hear he's feeling better.
Love those chairs!

Marie said...

Poor Merlin!! Hope he's better soon (and doesn't hold the steamed chicken rations against you!). Bi-carb is the way to go if you still have lingering smell btw. Cures all stinky ills (child and pet related!).

Fruit kebabs look yummy (if somewhat slightly tainted by the stomach churning from reading the whole post, but hey... you did warn me ;)).


Leanne said...

Not sure what to say except I'm glad it wasn't me cleaning up and poor baby. The chairs will be lovely.

ladydi said...

This brings back memories of the time our dog ate a nerf ball - aak! I love what you've done with your chairs, and I agree with Lucy, the kabobs look lovely - what a splendid idea.