Friday, July 6, 2012

Things I've learned

Being a helpful sort I do like to share the knowledge and experience I gather as I go about my doings, so please think of this illuminating post as a heartfelt gift from me to you.
Thing #1
No matter how much your latest knitting WIP makes you want to kick the dog it really is worth persevering....especially if it means you get to have your feet and legs covered in tiny owls.

Thing #2
Kool Aid does amazing things to wool.....and possibly to your innards if you actually drink it.

Thing #3
Year 7 homework is a lot more exciting than year 6 - if you look up 'wildlife of the River Tigris' on Google images you will get a load of pictures of tigers (not found near the River Tigris) and a photo of a lady in a gstring bending over with her bottom facing the camera.
Thing #4
Even after 3 years of sock knitting and 50++ pairs completed it is still possible to get completely giddy with excitement when you try out a completely new way of knitting a sock (work with me here!).
Cat Bordhi is a knitting genius, as exemplified in her fantastic Sweet Tomato Heel socks.
She's also a lovely woman who will welcome you warmly on her Ravelry forum after you've posted a cringingly effusive message about how awesome both she and her socks are.
Thing #5
Going out in the British summer wearing flip flops and sunglasses, cropped trousers and a thin cotton blouse means you will get rained on....heavily.
Thing #6
Having a teeny weeny new car becomes very exciting when you find the parcel office car park is full to capacity....but you can still park in the motorbike shed.

Thing #7
Despite being convinced that you can still lose weight and enjoy three big glasses of wine a night you will find the reverse is often true. As a die hard
wino  wine drinker take it from me - getting into smaller jeans makes you feel much better than the wine does....2.5 stone down but still a way to go :o)

Thing #8
Your dog does not always like eating the same things as you. I, for instance, would never eat hedgehog poo. Merlin Moog? It's his current favourite food.
Thing #9
No matter how much you love your new spinning hobby it is never acceptable to snigger at the Spinning Guild, or click 'funny' on the UKSpinners forum on Ravelry, when someone is voicing their desire to have a bigger orifice. Get over it and stop being childish or at least keep your mirth to yourself.

Thing #10
Cardboard tubes are possibly the best invention ever. These versatile packaging items can be put to many uses.

Thing #10
Don't believe bloggers who tell you that homemade elderflower cordial is easy and delicious. Ok, it was easy I'll give them that but despite slavishly following Hugh's recipe, spending £10 on pretty bottles, and thoroughly sterilising said bottles you will end up with something that just tastes...meh...and after two weeks grows an interesting greeny grey fungus such that the whole lot gets flushed down the drain. Console yourself that you now have bottles ready for sloe gin which is a much better idea.
Thing #11
After months of no sewing you will get a huge thrill out of cracking out the sewing machine, even if it is only to help your son sew a 1 inch seam securing a piece of elastic to Sackboy's new 'Batman' cape.
Thing #12
Wearing your raincoat, boots and thick socks on a cool, drizzly British summer's day guarantees that the sun will be blazing and you will have sweated off ten pounds by the time you get back from walking the dog.
Thing #13
Even though he's nearly 40 and a grown man with a mind of his own and grown up responsibilities that don't include housework or ironing apparently , your beloved will be too scared to tell his parents that he's bought a shiny new motorbike and will keep it covered when they're visiting this weekend and will threaten the children and the dog with dire consequences should they so much as allude to the big green beast hiding on the driveway.
Thing #14
Your 11 year old daughter will grow up far too fast. When she begins nagging you for highlights in her hair don't be fooled into thinking you saying 'No. I don't want you putting nasty chemicals on your hair at this age. You have time for all that when you're older' will suffice.
She will:
a) suddenly have several helpful friends whose mothers have let them have highlights
b) have a friend with a mother who is a hairdresser who helpfully tells her you can get highlights without 'the nasty chemicals' these days
c) hate you because you are the most overbearing, old fashioned, boring mother in the whole wide school.
d) have to just deal with it cos it ain't happening Minx....noooo way! You got me on the ear piercing but you ain't gettin' me on this one.

Thing #15
That 11 year old daughter of yours has been told what class she'll be in at secondary school in September and not a single one of her current classmates is with her.  You expect tears and tantrums. You actually get beaming smiles of relief as she's finally 'away from all the bitchy girls' and with the lovely ones she's always liked. You will do a happy dance at this point.

Thing #16
Youtube is your friend. Whatever new skill/hobby/thing you want to learn about someone has made a Youtube video about it.
Things I watched on Youtube this week:
Knitting socks on a knitting machine
Someone unpacking a box containing their recently ebay-purchased knitting machine
Sweet Tomato Heels
Navajo plying
Space dyeing sock yarn
Yarn Harlot talking about the reaction she gets when she tells people she writes 'knitting humour' books.
Cat Bordhi spinning yarn with a tennis ball and an elastic band - you really must watch this one!

Your beloved will find something interesting about 'swimming techniques' on Youtube and will go on at length about how brilliant Youtube is and how he had no idea there were such good things on it and that his friend at work told him about it, even though you've been telling him about if for the past four years.
(I'm not providing links cos that'll stop you having all the fun of discovering them for yourself.)
Thing #17
Slimming World crustless quiche is actually very very tasty and even your husband and children will want to eat it.....and it's free on Extra Easy folks!
Thing #18
You will realise after writing a very long blog post that, in actual fact, you've been far too generous in sharing your pearls of wisdom and could have used this as blog fodder for at least five posts thus saving yourself anguish and sleepless nights as you try to think of something worth blogging about.


p.s. Thing #19
The blind panic you feel when you've just completed a lengthy blog post and pressing one button makes it disappear from Blogger is a very real and worthy emotion as is the relief when you press a few more buttons and find it again.
ugh - Thing #20
Bloody Blogger does not respond to threats or swearing when it keeps mucking up the spacing on your latest blog post,.


Dawn said...

Love it!

French Knots said...

2.5 stone - wow Mrs M that's brilliant.
hedgehog poo - is it a flavour of yucky sweets from Harry Potter perhaps?
Shiny new car, lovely socks, amazing ( and smutty!) new hobby - all good :) xx

quinn said...

Such a fun (I mean "educational and helpful") post, Leslie! I do wish I had not just taken a mouthful of water as I got to #8, though ;) No hedgehogs here, but I have freeranging hens...enough said?
That is such a clever way to make a niddynoddy - did you invent it? I will save a cardboard tube for the next time I am dying yarn. Actually, there are usually things like cardboard tubes kicking around the house, but two pencils of decent length may be harder to locate.

Gina said...

You are a mine of wise and helpful information... although I don't like the one about not being able to lose weight AND drink lots of wine.

Poppy Cottage said...

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

You have just made my day with the most wonderful blog post I have read for ages!!!!

Well done with the weight loss. How long has it taken you so far? I joined ( for the billionth time on Wednesday evening. I am looking at a five stone loss (how did all that weight pile on so fast when I wasn't looking??)

Trying to get my head around how you can eat red and green days together.

Your spinning is coming along so good.

Thank you once again for that wonderful post.


Carol Q said...

well I thought it was a very interesting post and thoroughly enjoyed reading it but won't bore you to tears with a similarly long response lol!

Thimbleanna said...

You're hysterical!!! Fear Not -- this awesome listing has earned you a little blog break LOL. LOVE those owls, laughed at the hijinx to hide the hidden green beast, totally related to grown men with many responsibilities that don't include important stuff, congrats on the weight loss!, and have you done two socks on one circ yet? 'cause that's the bomb!!!!

Locket Pocket said...

A brilliant post Missus Moog! But how on earth do you recognise hedgehog poo?? Not that that's the only thing I've taken from this post of course ;o) xx

Daisie said...

Haha, silly boys, my hubby too is dishonest (or at least omitting) about his motorbikes and tattoos!! I love the weather comments, I always make the children take rain coats to school just to encourage the sun to shine. And girls off to high school in September are a total nightmare! Elizabeth is off this time too. Good luck with that x

Calidore said...

Hmm so the learning curve is coming along nicely Love the cardboard tube as a niddy noddy. I'm going to try that one.

rachelmp said...

You almost lost me at 50 plus pairs of socks in shock, but I kept going and loved it all!

Jodie said...

Blogger does not speak spaces....

Sew Create It - Jane said...

Fabulous post! I thoroughly enjoyed it. Congratulations on the weight loss. I've lost 1.5 stone and gone down a size and know exactly what you mean about it feeling better than wine :-)

cool bedroom ideas said...

Hey People,
Home run! Thanks for creating something worth reading!

Plum Cox said...

What a great blog post - thank you so much! Sniggered a lot at the motorbike part, sympathised with holding out against the pester power going on, was impressed by knitting and spinning stuff, and truly pleased for you for managing to lose so much weight - well done (and more secrets to weight loss, please - can you find me a way to lose weight but still indulge in eating plenty of chocolate?). x

veronica said...

Wonderful blog. The owl socks are fabulous.

wonderwoman said...

brilliant post Mrs Moog, am soo looking forward to seeing you on Monday - will send details over the weekend! xxxx

Kitty said...

Lovely post! Congratulations on your weight loss - that's fantastic. I am really struggling to shift half a stone :( Those owl socks are great!

I hear you on the pre-teen thing. Just wait until she's a fully-fledged teen. Good luck. :p


julie said...

Love your list of things and will be smiling for the rest of the day as a result. But am sympathising on the hair highlights (similar battles of will going on here!).

LiEr said...

Oh, you made me laugh so hard! Thank you for such a fun, fun, fun post. Here I was, thinking, "I hate the kitchen" thoughts and "why must I clean the house?" and "where are the cooking elves when I need them?" and then I read your post and suddenly I have the pick-me-up to go on with er... life, as it were. That motorcycle bit! Oh, hilarious! THank you! Thank you!

Leanne said...

You always make me laugh great post. As a dog lover try this utube
We drive past an alpaca farm on the way to our new house, I often think of you and all that lovely wool.

marit said...

You are hilarious:-) ( in a very, very good way!!!)

marit said...

Btw: I've just been over at Ravelry, downloading that owlie pattern;-) Haven't knitted socks in several months, but these were perfect!

Breathing Life said...

Just discovered your blog via ravelry. Is there a way to subscribe to new posts? I couldn't see a follow button.....